heliolisk:

as someone who comes from a family that hand washes all our dishes imagine my shock when I realized when white people complained about washing dishes they were really complaining about sticking some dishes in a machine

(via perks-of-being-chinese)

ruinedchildhood:

(Source: throwbackblr, via tyleroakley)

onlydeathcansetmefree13:

people: why do you always wear black?

me: tengo, tengo la camisa negra, porque negra tengo el alma

(Source: dj-pelu, via hijadelalunax)

ugly:

Me: *makes a small irrelevant mistake*

My Brain, banging pots and pans together: YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUC

Me: *makes huge mistake that will directly affect my future horribly*

My Brain, lounging on a lawn chair with shades on: ….acknowledged

(via perks-of-being-chinese)

o-kau:

what do other people have against subtitles? like bitch,.. my ears are Not Friends with my brain, let me have my captions

(via sirbenwyatt)

wurnbo:

did i allow u to have fun without me

(via clariwithachanceofmeatballs)

pajamaben:

Ever accidentally throw something away and then later realize you actually needed it? Haha i did this with my life

(via gibbys-wife)

strawberryspoons:

Interviewer: where do you see yourself in 5 years?

Me: I used escapist fantasies as a coping mechanism to get through years of trauma and therefore never learned how to plan for a real life future

(via perks-of-being-chinese)

duskdragonxiii:

Me whenever im sick: save me osmosis jones you sexy little microscopic blue bitch

(via mcdonaldsmodel)